Have you ever had the thought, do I really want to know, when asking someone, “How are you doing?” Are you really concerned for their welfare, or is it just a formality, some sort of habit or method of greeting? When you answer such a question yourself, what is your answer?
Most folks answer with…and I do not even like writing it… “I’m good”. When I started thinking about why people usually say the same thing, my first impression was “What kind of answer is that”? I’m good. Well, good is an adjective. Adjectives are used to describe a noun. That much is literal. However, it is not proper grammatically. They should say, “I am well”. The word good only describes inanimate objects as fine, superior, excellent, and so on. In the dictionary or thesaurus, the adjective good, describing a person, lists synonyms like virtuous, righteous, moral, ethical, and high-minded. If one inserted any of these words in place of the word good, in answer to the greeting, “How are you doing?”, others would think them pompous or narcissistic.
My favorite answer ever, came from an autistic child, which quite honestly, first sparked my major inquiries into proper grammar, spoken communication, and etymology, which also brought me to the study of anthropology, making me question why different cultures view slang, and other devices in different ways. For now, back to the question at hand. I asked her how she was doing, and her reply, “I am doing coloring”. After that I clarified that the meaning of the question was to learn how the person was feeling, or how life was going for them. I got another question. “Why not ask, how are you feeling?” I thought for a moment and told the child that her question made good sense. Then explained that the question, “How are you doing?”, appeared to be a formality of both personal and non-personal conversation starters accepted among the general society in which we live. She was satisfied with that answer, she thought it was silly, but at least understood what this social interaction was about. Then she said she wanted to answer the question again and she said, “I am feeling happy, because I like to color pictures.” I was pleased with her answer as well.
So, although it is a pet peeve, which I have apparently passed on to my youngest daughter, the answer, “I’m good!”, is apparently acceptable even among educated people in positions of power, on this I will not elaborate but to say that it makes me cringe.
I wonder what folks would say or do, if, when they asked, “How are you doing?”, they received a reply, “Ecstatic, and a little mischievous today!”, or “I am a little stressed but hopeful”?
In case you were wondering. Today, I am feeling thoughtful and sad, about what was on my mind early this morning.
Perhaps, because of what was on my mind last night. The mass shooting in Connecticut, cut straight through my heart. The moment I woke up, I thought of my children, when they were little and innocent, like the victims, and of them as they are now, nearly adults. I also thought about the individual who caused the suffering of others. I wonder how this might have been avoided with communication. Unfortunately, we may never decipher the motivation of the killer, and we will definitely never know exactly what he was thinking, or feeling, as he has died.
My prayers, thoughts and meditations are towards the suffering families.
Links:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
http://www.grammarbook.com/english_rules.asp
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/etymology
The PhoenixNest 